She softened the blow with the most comforting thing someone can tell someone else when it is over: "its not you, it's me." You know how I knew that was a line and not the truth? You should, you've been listening to me talk for a little over a minute, now. (alt joke: gesture at self and say nothing)
That's only slightly more comforting than saying "no you didn't do anything wrong, I'm just not attracted to you."
It doesn't matter what the situation is, both sexes use lines. Some girl could be dating a guy that still wears propeller hats, dropped out of middle school, drools on her during intimacy, and smells like a cat's lemony asshole, and she would still say it. (Easily modified to be family safe)
You probably think "why would she date such a goon in the first place?" Stay on topic.
It's not that one gender uses a certain line more, either; both genders are equally guilty. And when I was listening to her tell me that "it's not you, it's me," I felt like it was a word scramble, and I had to use an answer-key to figure it out.
"Ok so if she says: 'I need some time to sort out my feelings.' And the decoder says that all 'e's are 'a's, verbs are nouns, and that every first consonant is two letters back in the alphabet, what she really means is 'I want to bone the trainer at the gym more than I want to bone you.'"
People don't like to deal with pretense like that! It's like dating The Riddler from Batman! Holy shit it must be impossible to know why he would break up with you. By the time you figure it out he's already moved on and robbed a bank. I couldn't think of a sexual analogy for this statement, but believe me: I tried.
Edit: I'm still unhappy with this bit. I just don't think I'm approaching it from the right angle. Either that or I sound too bitter for it to be tongue and cheek. I can't figure which, but my plan is to just rewrite it over and over with different approaches until I figure it out.
Yeah honestly if I was seeing a comic and he started with some "heh isn't it crazy when girls say 'its not you its me" I would just zone out until he moved on.
ReplyDeleteI mean ultimately I have no idea what you are trying to accomplish here. It's incredibly disjointed. At the risk of sounding unhelpful, I think if you want to tackle something as overdone as relationships you should focus on a larger goal for the bit, to convey some broader sense of your opinion of the subject as a whole.
I think at this point I may be content making one quick joke about it and then moving on to talking about its relation to me, rather than making it a topic. Maybe fix the timing on the "dreams come true," or deliver it differently.
ReplyDeleteYeah I mean its towards the beginning of the show so its not like it has to kill. I think the only problem is that it might be hard for the audience to connect the line to the actual intent of the joke. Maybe change the subject of the dream.
ReplyDelete"I knew we were on our way out. She used to tell me about her dreams, which is the first sign we were running out of things to talk about. I think the worst dream she had was one where I murdered her. Murdered her! That's ridiculous! So I said, 'Ol' Matt C. you gotta make her feel better.' I wrapped my arms around her in a tender embrace, looked deep in her eyes and said... 'Baby I can make all your dreams come true."
I wish I'd thought of that...
ReplyDelete