I have low prices!

How many of you have ever worked in customer service of any kind?  Ever deal with that one dogshit customer that just ruined your day?

Cool thank you for answering.  

I'd like to talk about dick-sucking hypotheticals, now.

You know how occasionally you'll be bored when you're hanging out with friends and have the "how much would someone have to pay you" conversation?  For those of you unfamiliar with this "game:" it is where one guy comes up with something that another guy would typically not do, and then asks how much you'd need to be paid to do it.

Inevitably this will lead to one guy asking all other guys: "Ok dude, so how much would it cost for you to suck another dude's dick?"  All guys are repulsed, and always say something like: "oh bro not even if I could fuck a mountain made of bitches, afterward" or some nonsense.  Because if they say "yes," then they'll be ridiculed for being gay.  

Unless there was like a gay "sleeper agent" in the game where you say "a dick," and he asks: "well I dunno, whose dick are we sucking about, here?"

I wonder if gay guys ever sit around and have this conversation.  Not regular, reasonable gay guys, I mean like the dude-brah equivalent of gay guys.  Lets just call them turbo-gays.  All like: "Listen up bitch, how much would it cost for you to lick some vagina?"  All the gay guys are repulsed and respond with similar hypotheticals and feigned outrage: "oh my goodness that is filthy.  I would never stoop that low, even if the vagina were attached to Orlando Bloom's glittering nut-sack."

What if someone threw something into that game and said: "How much would someone have to pay you to go to an awful place where everything you do makes you miserable, all the people are terrible, and anyone else that visits is allowed to treat you like shit for no reason.  You have to act like you enjoy it.  Every. Damn. Day."  

For me, the price is about 11.50 an hour. 

Never before retail or food service has a person ever been able to be so ignorant, so belligerent, and go so unpunished for it.

That shit would not go unpunished in a group of friends.  If some dude is being a stupid dickhead in a conversation, his friends will shut him down.  If some girl is an unreasonable bitch, we are at liberty to let her know.  


In retail or food service, your sales clerks and wait-staff can't do that.

I guess what I'm saying here is that whenever you're in these situations, remember that you may be that customer who is a dick which customer service people have to reluctantly suck.  Those of us that ring up your purchases are not getting our dream homes for deep-throating your complains and taking your bullshit in the face.  


So be gentle, finish quick, and tip your waitress really well.

Thank you.