Flushed-out set, Sunday

I have to keep this sketch between 5-7 minutes.  So what I'm going to have to do is stream-line my already trimmed-down set that I did at Magoobys.  I gave a skeletal construction of what I would be going with for Sunday earlier in the week, but I need to elaborate on that.

Opening:

-"Hey everyone, how's it going?  Neat.  I'm feeling great, also.  I practiced a lot for this, and even shaved my unibrow before I drove over, so I'm hoping that is a good omen."

-"I'm more nervous now than I was..." has to stay.  It got laughs, and I think it got the audience on my side to some extent.  Following it up with "similarities/someone laughed" is good.  That joke wasn't a laugh-riot, but it kept the audience on track and was quick.  Worst case scenario, it is easy to move on from.

Start Segment: Relationships

-"Who here has ever been dumped?"  Is staying.  If the audience doesn't respond as loud as they did at Magooby's then I'll need a different line than "woah, it's a room full of losers." 

If I get nothing but indifference I'll probably run with: "Maybe you all misheard me; I didn't ask: 'who wants to see me naked, I asked 'who here has ever been dumped.'"

-"I was recently dumped, and you know what, I don't blame her for dumping me because I would ruin potentially sexy moments pretty much habitually.  Look at me." 

-One time we were making out, right, we were kissin'--this guy knows what I'm talkin' about--hi5, man.  I don't know how to high five really well because I'm uncool."

-"She asked me to talk dirty to her, and that's not something I'm usually comfortable doing, because I feel like I'd really fuck it up.  You know, she'd say something like 'tell me the craziest thing you'd do with me,' a-and that is my impression of her she sounded just like me it was eerie, and I would just zone out and answer honestly: I'd be like 'oh my God, baby, I would...burn down a Hollister." 

-"The moral of this story is that honesty ruins relationships."

-"I'm not very good at relationships because I got kind of a late start.  I didn't actually kiss a girl until my senior year of high school..." (Potential, depending on how well it is going) "and I think the only reason I actually got a kiss the first time was because she was an equestrian and mistook me for a horse.  It's an easy mistake to make;  I was eating hay near the fence at the bottom of my hill at my house." (/potential)

"I caught on to kissin' pretty quick though.  I was the Luke Skywalker of making out.  By the end of my senior year I was bullseyein' fat chicks resembling womp rats no wider than two meters.  That's a little private joke between me and everyone else who isn't getting laid tonight." 

End Segment: Facebook

-"Anyone here use facebook, anybody, facebook?  Cool." 

-"Facebook has been getting a little annoying to me lately with all of its suggestions everytime I log on.  'maybe you should friend such and such,' or 'reconnect with such and such,' or the similar-hobby suggestions, which really drive me nuts.  Because it's always something embarrassing: it's like, 'people who like dungeons-and-dragons...are also big fans of angry masturbating.'"

-"Facebook must be reading my diary."

-"Facebook recently made the news and I don't know if any of you read this online, but: a 15 year old kid posted on another 15 year old kid's wall calling him a pussy.  Which is a pretty harsh toke."

-"The kid that was called a pussy did the only thing a thinking, reasoning human being could do in that sort of situation...uh he stabbed him.  He said the reason he stabbed him was because he felt belittled and had to protect his street cred."

-"What's ridiculous here is not that a kid stabbed another kid over a facebook comment, interestingly enough, but that this kid had apparently never been called a pussy in his life before this time?!"

-"Let me tell you all from personal experience: I have negative street cred, that is a debt I will never be able to pay off.  I have been called a pussy so many times...If I stabbed a person for everytime I'd been called a pussy I wouldn't be up here being hilarious right now, they would have electrocuted my ass by now."
-"I'd be wanted in every state, have a mass grave...in front of my house...I wouldn't have a dad."

Closing: Sign off

-"Alright thanks everybody that's my time, my name is Matt Caron and I'm tremendously aroused." 

Alternative Bits:

-"Growing up a fat kid." 

-"Kids get away with all sorts of shit."

-"Uncomfortable-off."

Mistargetted Marketing

**EDIT**

You know the first time one of your friends shows you something online and you think to yourself: "well, now I know about it, but I can't ever see myself using one?"  Like a she-male, a sybian, a pumpkin gun, or deodorant?

I saw an advertisement, recently, where I got that feeling.  Let me tell you about Colgate Wisp.

Colgate Wisp is a little mini toothbrush that you can take with you, on the go, to freshen up your breath.  The ad goes like this: two really attractive people are playing volleyball on the beach, and the guy thinks "aha, I need to go freshen up," so he takes a step aside and uses his Colgate Wisp in the middle of the game.

If only that guy were aware of breathe mints!

Then, afterward, he finds himself in a situation where he has to flirt, face to face, through the net with the hot girl on the other team.  I can't tell you the number of times I've been in this situation.

I'd think to myself: "man, again?  This always happens to me after I eat crabs and cornbread for breakfast!  I wish I had something I could use on the go so I could plow this bitch after the game!  Who hasn't been there?"

Listen: the guy who used that Colgate Wisp could have had breath that smelled like a cat's lemony asshole and probably still gotten laid.  Attractive, successful people do not need the services that Colgate Wisp has to offer.

I propose a different sort of commercial, where they market it to someone who desperately needs some Colgate Wisp.  Picture this: 

There is a fat, sweaty, unwashed nerd eating pizza rolls in his mom's basement while he plays Super Nintendo emulators, posts on World of Warcraft forums, and jerks off to cartoon porn in between applying to jobs at local Gamestops.

Have a commercial where he has to swing by Taco Bell at 1am, and the girl behind the counter is pretty...with the exception of the huge mole on her lip, lopsided chin, and hook hand on her left arm. 

He looks at her and nods like a playa, but then breathes on his hand to sample his breath.  His head recoils, offended, as if someone hit him in the face with a phone book.  The hair on his arms begins falling off, his skin changes to a yellow color as if he had jaundis, his eyes involuntarily tear up, and his nose starts to bleed.

He is understandably distressed!

He steps off to the side and opens his backpack.  He gingerly reaches for his rape-hammer, but it's gone.  In its place is a Colgate Wisp, with a small note attached: "Love Mom."

Set for Sunday

Ok so this is a preliminary set-list for Sunday, the 29th at "Drink Till We're Funny."  It is subject to change, but I want to try AT LEAST one new joke to see how well it goes over with the crowd.  The rest of my routine will remain unchanged, save for wording, since I know it's solid.  And even though I want to use open mics to try out new material, I also want to make sure the club owner likes my bit. 

------------------

Opener: "Way more nervous" + "Similarities"

Segway to first joke: "Since I started doing stand-up" joke.  I feel like it is quick enough and decent enough to merit slipping into the routine, and it doesn't interrupt the flow of the act, since the transition to the first joke is just a question that is unrelated to the opener.  I feel like it needs to be something more innocuous and less obvious than "lick my butthole" as the punchline, though.  My routine is built around me being a bit socially awkward, so I need to run with that and establish it at the beginning.


Maybe something along the lines of, "my first reaction would not be to say: 'oh yeah? Well put me in an awkward situation where my parents walk in on me naked and masturbating.'"

I scratched the new joke, here.  Dave Shofer raised an excellent point, which I kind of mentioned in my opening paragraph: "Brad doesn't know you, yet.  You want to put on a good show for him, and make sure that he wants to invite you back."

First Segment: "Why I'm bad at relationships."  Includes: how I habitually ruined sexy moments ("one time we were making out"), how I got a late start ("Luke Skywalker")

Nothing new here.  This stuff all worked really well when I did it at Magooby's, so I'll count on it being good and use it again.  At subsequent open mics I'm going to try to swap out "burn down a Hollister" with "your sister."

Second Segment: "Facebook suggestions," "The Great Facebook Stabbing,"

-----------------

I'm going to practice this stuff and see how long it times.  I have to fill between 5-7 minutes.  I have jokes I know will work if I need to fill more time.  I think that this stuff will fill that time slot just fine, though.  Update coming.

Something I'm Coping With

There is a stigma I always had with using and reusing jokes in conversation: friends have heard them, and I feel less and less clever every time I would tell the same story or use the same joke with my friends.  As a result, I could not deliver the same punchline with as much excitement and emotion as I did the first time, because while I know that it is a good joke, I've already heard it.  It's like I'm selling myself short when I do that.

Something reassuring to me when I was thinking about entering stand-up was that I could come up with a solid set and just use and reuse it until I could interject more stuff.  This reassurance is actually becoming something of a hindrance.  Because while I realize I need to stick with what works, I also want to constantly be mixing it up.  I write a new joke more or less every day, or at least generate the concept for a new joke, and I'm concerned that I won't be able to keep living up to previous sets.

The solution to this problem is of course to just do open mics and risk failure every now and then, but at the same time be allowed to try new material where, ultimately, there is no real consequence.  The quagmire, here, is that I've already managed some measure of success.  I'm in touch with a promotor, and he already has me on his "list" so to speak, for comics that he would allow to participate at his shows.  This is huge for me, having only done one open mic.

What this has created isn't a situation where I want to drift off the small victory I've had, but rather a personal pressure on myself to do even better than before.  Before I had validation that my bit worked, I already was very rough on myself in regard to what I considered good material.  And something that makes things more difficult is that I know that people will like the material I already have, but I'm already very familiar with it, and it is the only measuring stick that I have with which to gauge my new jokes.

See what my problem is?  To me, a fresh joke is more appealing than an old one even if it's not quite as clever.  I want to just completely re-do my routine for open mics, but since I have something that works, I'm a bit worried about failure.  It's not something insurmountable; I will fail if I have to--I was prepared to fail at the get-go, and it is not something that I have ruled out of future performances.  There are different crowds in different places, and some of them may downright loathe what I have to bring.  This is something that will always hang over me. 

I don't want to fail, though.  In baseball when I was a kid, I hated striking out after I'd hit a homerun.  In swimming, I hated losing to someone that I had previous out-raced, or, conversely, getting a slower time than I had in the past.  I would insist on mentioning how good I was at a video game if my best friend would comment on how good someone else was at it without recognizing how good I was.  For christs-sake, sex is a competition to me. 

I'm competitive to a fault, even with myself.  I'm competitive even when I don't care about the competition.  I can force myself to stop being competitive at times, but at the end of the day, I'll wonder if I "won" at whatever I was doing. 

This, I think, is going to make me a much better comedian.  I will always want to be funnier than the others, and I will always want to outdo myself.  I won't be able to "Ron White"-it, and just use the same routine over and over and over until I die, alone, of cirrhosis.  No offense to Ron White; he is the only one of the Blue Collar comedy tour whose bit I actually like.

I'm digressing.  Key points:

-I don't want to fall into a repetitive routine.
-I want to constantly explore my options.
-I am unnaturally competitive and this could be a help or hindrance.
-I like freshness, but I'm afraid of it.
-I really, really, really want to succeed.

The bottom point will likely override any other.  I'll do what I have to in order to make my routine amazing.  I'll fail over and over again as long as I ultimately succeed. 

UFC

Something happened to me recently, on a date: I went to the bathroom to piss out some alcohol, and I got to watch UFC on a flatscreen as I peed. As I watched , I began to feel only-slightly more gay than I currently was.

Listening to the announcer on UFC was as if a gay porn was being read aloud to me: "what he is trying to do is put his opponent in a position where he has no power. Where he can pound on him until he submits."

And the entire time I was thinking "makes sense."

Taken out of context, however...here is a man, watching two other men attempt to make one another submit, while he pees.

Thia entire story is such a lie: I wasn't on a date I was playing old school super nintendo. But the more drunk I became the more attractive that slot looked.

Sept. 16th

I will be appearing at Illusions Magic Bar and Lounge on Sept. 16th along with five other comedians, a feature act, and a headliner. Dave Shofer is the agent behind the clown, but he does not own the bar. He filled me in on the situation and how I may not make pay this time, since only the feature and the headliner typically make money--this fits with what I've read, as does what he said regarding it: "the fact that you're participating in a show that isn't open mic after your first show is extremely rare as it is."

He claimed that when he hires a comedian that person does an audition show before being allowed into a showroom. Again, that meshes with what I have heard.

I'm looking forward to it, but I feel like I need to improve my whole routine a bit, still. I plan to hit at least three open mics before this if I can.

Set rearrangin'

I like the suggested altering of the "dreams come true" line. I feel that it would mesh with other jokes a whole lot better if it came after the facebook bit.

Mainly because then I can reference my previous jokes later in the bit. Which. for whatever reason. seems to own at comedy shows.

--------------------

Here is a good example of why I'm not good in relationships: I was recently dumped, and...

I knew we were on our way out. She started to tell me about her dreams, which is the first sign that we were running out of things to talk about.

I think the worst dream she had was one where I murdered her. Murdered her! That's ridiculous!...I asked her if she called me a pussy on facebook in the dream, because that makes it slightly more believable.

No, she hadn't. Her subconscious was telling her that I was bad for her life, though. So I thought, "Matt C. you have to do something, quick." and came up with one of the best romantic lines I could and layed it on thick:

"Baby, I have the power to make all your wildest dreams come true."

I realized, instantly, that I should have thought that one out a little bit better.

/maybe

So the next day I had a dream that she broke up with me in a Wal-Mart. The entire time she kept telling me: "this isn't a dream, this isn't a dream--I really am breaking up with you."

I'm a pretty lucid dreamer, though--I know when a dream is a dream. Certain things give it away. So I said to her: "heh, oh yeah? Then explain why I'm not wearing pants!"

/maybe

I am talking!

Most of my close friends are pretty cool about me doing stand up. All one of him.

Occasionally, however, I'll let one of the sorta-friends know, and I'll get this: "Oh yeah, you're doing stand-up? Well make me laugh." And like, I don't think that is really a fair demand.

You know? If one of my friends said: "I'm getting into the adult film industry," my first reaction would not be to say: "Oh yeah? Well lick my butthole."

I have low prices!

How many of you have ever worked in customer service of any kind?  Ever deal with that one dogshit customer that just ruined your day?

Cool thank you for answering.  

I'd like to talk about dick-sucking hypotheticals, now.

You know how occasionally you'll be bored when you're hanging out with friends and have the "how much would someone have to pay you" conversation?  For those of you unfamiliar with this "game:" it is where one guy comes up with something that another guy would typically not do, and then asks how much you'd need to be paid to do it.

Inevitably this will lead to one guy asking all other guys: "Ok dude, so how much would it cost for you to suck another dude's dick?"  All guys are repulsed, and always say something like: "oh bro not even if I could fuck a mountain made of bitches, afterward" or some nonsense.  Because if they say "yes," then they'll be ridiculed for being gay.  

Unless there was like a gay "sleeper agent" in the game where you say "a dick," and he asks: "well I dunno, whose dick are we sucking about, here?"

I wonder if gay guys ever sit around and have this conversation.  Not regular, reasonable gay guys, I mean like the dude-brah equivalent of gay guys.  Lets just call them turbo-gays.  All like: "Listen up bitch, how much would it cost for you to lick some vagina?"  All the gay guys are repulsed and respond with similar hypotheticals and feigned outrage: "oh my goodness that is filthy.  I would never stoop that low, even if the vagina were attached to Orlando Bloom's glittering nut-sack."

What if someone threw something into that game and said: "How much would someone have to pay you to go to an awful place where everything you do makes you miserable, all the people are terrible, and anyone else that visits is allowed to treat you like shit for no reason.  You have to act like you enjoy it.  Every. Damn. Day."  

For me, the price is about 11.50 an hour. 

Never before retail or food service has a person ever been able to be so ignorant, so belligerent, and go so unpunished for it.

That shit would not go unpunished in a group of friends.  If some dude is being a stupid dickhead in a conversation, his friends will shut him down.  If some girl is an unreasonable bitch, we are at liberty to let her know.  


In retail or food service, your sales clerks and wait-staff can't do that.

I guess what I'm saying here is that whenever you're in these situations, remember that you may be that customer who is a dick which customer service people have to reluctantly suck.  Those of us that ring up your purchases are not getting our dream homes for deep-throating your complains and taking your bullshit in the face.  


So be gentle, finish quick, and tip your waitress really well.

Thank you.

Sometimes I *am* a pussy

I removed bandages from my hands to work out, today.  My gym instructors suggested that I rub powdered chalk into my wounds to dry them out for the work out.  I did and it hurt!

I couldn't get any bandages to stay on my hands following last nights pull-up wounds, so I tried this stuff called "New Skin" by band-aid.  It's a spray.  I don't like spraying my open wounds with things, but this stuff did not say anything along the lines of: "this will be mildly uncomfortable," so I thought "the hell with it, I'll just lay it on there!"  It hurt so bad.  It felt like I'd just sprayed acid on my hand and it was trying to eat through.

I was bouncing around in front of CVS like a huge baby while this shit worked its way into my blisters.  My friend Amy helplessly watched and did a sort of laugh/empathetic-cringe hybrid.  To my credit I did not cry.

This isn't a bit it is just me being me.

The cool thing about this stuff is that after it stops burning a hole in your cut, it feels great.  It forms a film over the cut itself, and smells like bubble gum.  The difficult part was spraying it on the other hand's cut now that I knew how it felt.  The other one isn't as deep, though, so it wasn't as bad. 

Relationships, take two!

[Following the "I've been dumped."  Just some spit-balling.]

She softened the blow with the most comforting thing someone can tell someone else when it is over: "its not you, it's me."  You know how I knew that was a line and not the truth?  You should, you've been listening to me talk for a little over a minute, now.  (alt joke: gesture at self and say nothing)

That's only slightly more comforting than saying "no you didn't do anything wrong, I'm just not attracted to you."

I believe her.  The alternative is that I have to take some kind of responsibility for my own personal life.

It doesn't matter what the situation is, both sexes use lines.  Some girl could be dating a guy that still wears propeller hats, dropped out of middle school, drools on her during intimacy, and smells like a cat's lemony asshole, and she would still say it.  (Easily modified to be family safe)

You probably think "why would she date such a goon in the first place?"  Stay on topic.

It's not that one gender uses a certain line more, either; both genders are equally guilty.  And when I was listening to her tell me that "it's not you, it's me," I felt like it was a word scramble, and I had to use an answer-key to figure it out.

"Ok so if she says: 'I need some time to sort out my feelings.' And the decoder says that all 'e's are 'a's, verbs are nouns, and that every first consonant is two letters back in the alphabet, what she really means is 'I want to bone the trainer at the gym more than I want to bone you.'"

People don't like to deal with pretense like that!  It's like dating The Riddler from Batman!  Holy shit it must be impossible to know why he would break up with you.  By the time you figure it out he's already moved on and robbed a bank.  I couldn't think of a sexual analogy for this statement, but believe me: I tried.  

Edit: I'm still unhappy with this bit. I just don't think I'm approaching it from the right angle. Either that or I sound too bitter for it to be tongue and cheek. I can't figure which, but my plan is to just rewrite it over and over with different approaches until I figure it out.

Hi it is me: Caron

The Crossfit that I did today has completely torn the skin off my palm.  I already cleaned the wounds and applied bandages.  It still stings whenever I make a fist, and I don't think that I'm going to be doing anymore pull-ups for a while.  That isn't the quagmire, however:

Now I can't jerk off!

I can't undo the bandages, because then everything I touch will hurt.  Even when air hits these blisters it hurts.  But I also can't leave them on, because then it will be like taking sand paper to my dong.

What a cruel world.  Doesn't God know that I have nothing to offer a woman and that this is my nightly refuge?  I am positive that Santa Clause knows.  Maybe him and God should ease up on ol' Matt C. or stop being voyeurs.

In lieu of doing some tearful jerking off I'm going to update this with some potential jokes, instead.  Something that I realized about the relationships bit that I did at Magoobys was that it was actually my "weak" bit.  In that it didn't get as many laughs.

Laughs aren't always indicative of enjoyment, but its the best I've got to go with now.  To me, at least, the "dreams come true" and "girlfriend had a dream about dumping me" seemed the most contrived of my bits.  Mainly because they were the least true.  Everything else I wrote about, with minor exceptions, was true.

The girlfriend part was some lies.  I was told by her that she had a dream that she cheated on me, but it was in the form of a text, and it was after I told her the same thing, first.  The "wildest dreams come true" is a bit witty, but only in conversation.  The whole "so I said this" isn't really funny to me, and I think I could do better in my bits.  So effective immediately I'm scrapping that bit, and going to come up with another one.

Lets talk about my boners

I don't like having responsibility--bills, job, sensitivity. I really miss the days when there was so much less to worry about. Like when my biggest concern was whether or not I'd get a boner in high school math class.

I still remember the day my boner snuck up on me in Algebra 2.  We were discussing mathy-stuff that I didn't understand, the bell rang, I stood up, excited to get to lunch and: "bonk."  The desk shudders, heads turn, and a single tear rolls down my cheek.

Lets not kid ourselves, guys: that is something we have all had to deal with.  I cannot tell you the number of times I'd be sitting in class, the topic of discussion is decidedly-not-sexual, and my boner thinks: "now is the time." 

I'm sure some of you are getting boners right this instant and you're, hopefully, completely oblivious as to why.

Getting called on to solve a problem on the board is the WORST in this sort of situation, because then you have to hold your book over your groin when you walk up to the front of the room, and try to pretend that you always hold books that way.

And how do you get a boner like that down?  Usually men can think of something non-sexual and get our inconvenient hard-ons to retreat...but what the hell is less sexual than Algebra 2?  There is nothing less sexy than that!  Thinking about history is more sexy than thinking about math; at least there are people in history.  Granted Elizabeth the Great wasn't a choice peace of ass, but at least she had boobs.

I would get truly stumped.  "Maybe I could think about a less-sexy equation," I would reason, but then I'd realize, "no no no that is just validating the fact that my boner is here!"

I came up with a term for when your boner takes over and acts against all reason: "Hulking."  We've all seen The Incredible Hulk, right?  Bruce Banner would say: "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" and then he would unintentionally turn into the Hulk and do things he was later embarrassed about and could not stop doing by thinking of other stuff that would ordinarily calm down my erections.

"Hulk" is of course a relative term.  In my case it isn't necessarily the "Incredible" Hulk so much as the "not-bad-for-a-white-guy" Hulk.

Next Competition

I've been invited to compete at the Baltimore Comedy Factory's open mic competition. This is slightly more serious than Magooby's, since it is to determine future weekend show performers. The winners will get paid appearances on weekend shows.

There are more rules, as well. This is not a "bringer" show, the amount of people that show up does not determine your minutes on stage; that is capped at five minutes. Time limits are strictly enforced, and going over them results in point deduction. They recommended bringing people to vote for and cheer for you at the show, but did not require it.

Its awfully soon following the first show, but I think I'm going to sign up regardless. I need to trim down my good stuff. The show would be on Sept. 1st. As always I'm going to try to generate new material every week, but I really need to pick and choose carefully. So I'll be counting on feedback from you all to tell me when I'm not being funny!

The LOL IRL

I think I could do something with how people say "lol" in phone conversations when they don't know what else to say to a person's last text, and how awkward that would be if it were used to carry on an otherwise boring or dead conversation.

Like someone tells you "my mother just died in a tragic garbage truck accident."  You wouldn't know what to say to that.  You'd say, "I'm sorry," by default, but you wouldn't really know what else to get across.  So they'd respond, "she lived a full life."  Rather than silence, you could start busting out laughing.

I plan to market this vid as pornography to girls with hilarious fetishes

This is my first stand-up performance in a comedy club.  I'd welcome any criticisms that you all have on timing, wording, pacing, voice, etc.  The voice I used, I planned.  It was a shaky version of my normal voice in order to endear myself to the audience.  I really wanted my act to come across as a conversation not just me standing onstage ranting.

Anyway!

Let me tell you about 7/29/2010

For those of you following this blog and my "career" in general, you'd know that 7/29 was a big day for me. It was my first appearance at an actual comedy club, and it was in an open mic competition. Now, I would have been really happy to just do my routine and get laughs. Things went much better for me; I took second place of all the comedians there, and many thought I should have taken first, most especially the audience member who stood up and yelled "that's fuckin' BULLSHIT" after the decision had been made.

After I did my set I was offered work by a showroom owner at Magooby's. All in all, a very successful night. Now to get critical...

What worked:

-Stuff about being dumped
-Taking any possible opportunity to interact with audience. Meet hecklers without attacking back. Best defense against a heckler is to turn their interruption into a joke that does not focus on them.
-Facebook jokes owned here, the audience loved them. The "I wouldn't have a dad" line needs to follow several examples of what would happen had I stabbed my bullies, because while not initially intended to be the big punchline of the joke, it was.
-Stuff about kids worked well.
-Always play off other comics, and always reference the past. It makes the audience feel a part of the act and helped in all kinds of ways.

What didn't work:

-Dad calling me fat thing was unnecessary. People laughed but not as much as expected.
-When interacting with audience, get one laugh and move on. Its great to joke with an audience member, but keep it brief.
-Need to be more aware of posture and direction I look. Oftentimes there was "energy" more in one direction than another. I need to learn to focus on the laughter.
-Fix timing on "punch in the dick" joke. It was good, but it could be better; something is missing.