Lets have an "uncomfortable-off"

Potential bit

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Something that can completely ruin my grocery store experience is when I'm waiting in line at the pharmacy and the two people in front of me are rounding the bases with reckless abandon.

How do you react to that?!  You can't tap him on the shoulder and say "hey dry off those fingers, buddy, this is neither the time nor the place."  You can't pull her aside and say "you are a beautiful women, and you have to respect yourself...you slut."  All you can do is stand there in line, eyes clamped shut like the ark of the covanent is waiting in line next to you.

What sort of household were these people raised in where they think it's fine to dry hump each other up and down my waiting line?  Their parents couldn't have constantly done it while they were growing up.  It wouldn't get them "used" to it, it would make them afraid of it. 

If my parents constantly fondled each other infront of me in the living room for seventeen years I would never want to touch a woman again!  I'd never want to touch a man again!  I would never want, sexually, ever again!

And they're not even subtle about it.  This isn't some guy brushing against her boob when no one is looking, this dude is raw!  He is open-palm slapping her ass in the line while she giggles like a used-up whore.  "Oh my God you are...so hot."  And he smirks like an idiot all like "hu-hu, yeah baby dat ayass."  Isn't this something people can get arrested for?  You can't be drunk in public without the cops giving you a hard time, can't we bring in the long arm of the law here and tazer these motherfuckers?

Sometimes when I see this sort of crap I want to go up and do stuff to make them uncomfortable too, just to see which side gives up first:

-He kisses on her neck sensually, in public, and that makes me uncomfortable.  So I slide up next to them and start idly scratching my balls while I stare. 

-That guy starts to rub his girl's ass and comment on it, all "oh yeah girl, I love that ass."  That sort of thing is not socially acceptable.  So I start indiscriminately letting farts slip and then congratulating myself.  "Oh yeah man, that fart smells like shit!  Great job butthole."  Also not socially acceptable.

-They begin pawing at each other and putting one anothers hands in each other's pockets.  Everyone is looking at them just wishing that they'd stop, and asking themselves "do they have no shame?"  In turn, I take of my shirt, start yelling at the top of my lungs, and start doing jumping jacks.

At the point where they ask me to stop...I win.