"For Women of Color"

My mom is a bit slow, that is where I get it from.

She told me recently: "I colored my hair, so I had to get some shampoo that would work for the sort of coloring I had done.  I saw this shampoo that said 'for women of color' so I assumed that it would work for me.  Turns out that is not what the bottle meant."

...

She told me it had a black lady on it, as well.

The process for discovering this wasn't the right shampoo went something like this: "Oh, for women of color.  Well, I DID color my hair, that is probably what they mean.  Oh, a black lady on a 'for women of color' bottle--I could be black, right?"  Then when she gets in the shower and begins applying the shampoo, she thinks, "w-wait a second, I suddenly feel loud and sassy..."

After the shower when the family is watching a movie during dinner, she won't shut up.

I'm always afraid of this sort of thing happening, that is why I only use shampoo labelled "for men not-of-color."  Every time I use it my ability to dance gets worse and worse, and I like Fox News more and more.