My last post was a verbatim copy/paste from a facebook conversation with one Joseph Kurczewski, I was not attempting to be artsy. I feel like I need to let all two of my readers know this, just so your opinion(s) of me will not drop.
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Kids are a lot more forgiving than adults are. The shit we used to get away with doing to our friends as kids, and still keep them as friends, would never fly as adults. For example I punched my best friend in the dick when I was in 4th grade. We still talk.
If I punched my friend Jessi in the dick, her and I would totally not be friends anymore.
Everything in cycles. The means are different, but the ends are the same: babies shit their pants and then start crying. As opposed to some sixteen year old emo kid that cries so hard he shits his own pants.
We turn eight, and for ten blissful years until we are 18, we can basically take any amount of shit from our friends and still be friends with them. Then, as "young adults" something happens: we start to think highly of ourselves, develop self-esteem, and that fucks everything up!
I lost a friend because people told him that I said, behind his back, that he is creepy at clubs. If we were twelve, I could walk up to him, twist his nipples, call him a shit-faced cunt-stain to his face, then call his dead mother a whore, and the next day we'd play Street Fighter Two together and his biggest complaint would be that I abuse jump kicks.
As kids we don't read anything into actions, we just accept it. We didn't waste our time getting pissed about "could be"s. If I don't reply to a text from some girl, she will get all worked up making assumptions like I'm mad at her, or ignoring her, and get all indignant. You know what she'd do if we were kids? Get distracted by Rug Rats and instantly forget. It would be AWESOME if that worked on women at my age. "Well yes I know that I forgot your birthday but hey look Rocko's Modern Life is on!"
"Kids are a lot more forgiving than adults are. The shit we used to get away with doing to our friends as kids, and still keep them as friends, would never fly as adults. For example I punched my best friend in the dick when I was in 4th grade. We still talk.
ReplyDeleteIf I punched my friend Jessi in the dick, her and I would totally not be friends anymore."
This is the stand-out part of this routine, although grammatically it should be "she and I." That's funny enough to even be its own short little joke or something, I think.
The Nickelodeon cartoon jokes are great, too.
Thanks a lot Derek. I'm definitely going with that one, but I don't know if it will be a one-liner or part of an anecdote. I have to write more jokes along the same lines and see how they pan out.
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