Ack oh goodness! (Also seen in this post: I abuse parentheses)

I'm probably going to regret this, massively, in the biggest way, but:

"Magooby's Joke House Presents Our "New Talent" Showcase And Competition

Are you brand new to comedy, a seasoned "open miker" or just starting out as a paid pro? Maybe you're the funniest guy or gal in your office. Whatever your level, Magooby's Joke House wants to see what you've got!

On Thursday, July 1st we'll be holding another NEW TALENT SHOWCASE AND COMPETITION. The funniest performer of the evening will win a $100 cash prize plus a booking for one of our regular weekend shows. Judging will be based on a combination of audience vote and jury panel.

Doors open at 7:15, show starts at 8:00 and tickets are only $7.

There are only a limited number of performer spots available and bookings are first come first served. Email bernie@magoobys.com for more details."

I have e-mailed Bernie, and I have requested information.  Stand back, because I'm pushing the envelope with my brash actions (next I'll wear a yellow shirt).  Now, I don't know whether or not this is the best idea (setting a date as soon as July 1st), but I think that it would give me the extra push that I need.  I thrive on pressure, and as such I always do my best studying with a fat person sitting on me.  I am a literalist.  

If Bernie gets back to me as says "sure thing, you can come," then I will probably sign up and damn the torpedoes--"damn the torpedoes" is a saying that I use without fully understanding its meaning, but I do the same thing with other figures of speech like "full of beans, gimme a break," "forty winks," and the less well-known "ha, of course I don't have herpes you crazy bitch."  I don't know if I'm ready, but at this point I am having a difficult time caring.  I've talked about this for so long, and I feel like I'll just keep on talking about it unless something jolts me out of my comfort zone and forces me to muster my funny and go for it.

All my life I've needed someone to keep on my back and either encourage me, or drill me, until I actually do something.  I want a dead-line, I want something [other than new Magic the Gathering cards] to look forward to while I write my routine.  Before I saw this, I thought "sometime by August I guess," but now I'm entertaining the idea of starting sooner.  Why wait?  After all, I'm already hilarious depressed hilarious!