Dissecting the Routine

I realize that my writing style does not translate very well to the spoken word.  I attempted to speak out my routine from yesterday, and it isn't that it wasn't funny, its that it wasn't funny often enough.  Typically a story-routine has a big build up, and that climax either delivers or it doesn't.  My story has several build ups that are worth a chuckle, and a couple more that may be worth slightly more than that.  

What does this mean for the routine?  I need to be less wordy.  Not the "using big words" type of the wordy, but the "taking more than one sentence to say I need to be less wordy."

I went through the routine and broke it up from paragraphs into shorter "idea segments" that seem to work better as tangents for the sake of a crowd.  I've had my writing style complimented before, but the issue here that I have a difficult time keeping at the forefront of my material generation, is that audiences have a much shorter attention span then someone who has committed him/herself to reading an article.  

No one is committed to laughing at me, I have to sell them on it as soon as I can.