2011 is my year

I didn't make a New Year's resolution to start being a better comedian, or to update this blog more often.  My New Years resolution was to stop jerking off to pictures of car wrecks.  Ha-ha, kidding: resolutions are for faggots.  If you didn't have the motivation to enable yourself to change before January 1st, you sure as shit aren't going to be able to affect any meaningful change post January 1st.

Bring on the mangled bodies, because I'm horny and want to crust a sock.

I'm fresh faced after leaving my position with a certain wireless carrier, and I think that the life change will help me write more.  As evidenced by the fact that I've cleaned my room, and am no longer wallowing in the filthy shambles of my neglected hobbies.  I've been going to the gym a lot more since my job ended.  I know what you're thinking: "why am I reading this?"  And hopefully as an accessory to that: "you're probably going to the gym because you have nothing else to do since you're jobless."  Well, you're half right; I don't have much else to do, but I've always had enough free time to do what I wanted in the evenings and on my days off.

The problem was that regardless of what I was doing, I felt like I was wasting my time.  I dreaded going back to work so much that I figured all that I should do when I wasn't there was maximize how much I unwind, so that the next time I walk through those doors, I wouldn't want to murder someone.  My hobbies became burdens, my fitness became an obligation, and I didn't really take much joy in anything.

Granted, all I did was work retail, and some people don't mind it.  Some people enjoy getting to work with new people every day, even if each and every one of those people are intolerable.  Some people would be completely cool with a two hour round-trip to be at a place they can't stand.  Some people have the patience to deal with crap they don't care about.  Some people don't have the luxury of being particular about what job they work and whining about it on the internet.

I am not one of those people, and regardless of how much of a bitch I sound like, the bottom line was that I was genuinely unhappy.  It's difficult to make any positive changes, much less write comedy, when you get home livid every night.  I can attest to the truth of that statement firsthand.  It doesn't mean much coming from me since I'm the source, though.  Like if Jeffrey Dahmer said: "I sure didn't rape and murder people, you can believe me because I was there when I wasn't killing them."

When you hate where you are, the best strategy is to change where you are.  Derp derp.  I didn't change where I was in the smartest way.  I quit my job before I had another one lined up.  It's foolish, and it's unjustifiably the wrong way to handle things.  It has done wonders in making me happier, however.  For the first time in a long time, I've wanted to write, a lot.  I couldn't think of a better thing to do tonight after I exercised and showered than writing in this blog (except maybe save Virmire from Saren but sorry dawg I got home too late!).

I may get a job at my alma mater, shortly.  I find out this upcoming week whether or not I got it. I really hope that I do, because it will be a cunt punch if I don't.  But even if I don't, it won't be the end of the world.  2011 is going to be a good year for work, and a good year for comedy, because it has already started off great.  I sure am glad I wrote this for two, at most three people.  I include myself in this number.

Happy new year, you homos.  Hopefully it stays that way.