Whenever I feel like something is not going so great in my life, my mom tries to console me by saying "things aren't that great now, but it's all part of God's plan."
I mean you could justify that for something like not getting a job in a certain area, but what about the time at my 10-year old birthday party that my dad broke a stinkbomb in my bedroom and locked me and all my friends in? Jeremiah puked all over my Batman trashcan! It was ruined! How could having that trashcan intact affect my life adversely?!
What about the time I was going number 1 in the urinal at my college's dining hall and then number 2 was like "SURPRISE!?" How does having to throw away my christmas-fun boxer shorts in my school's cafeteria fit into your plan, God?
God must just get kind of bored and think to himself: "ha-ha, they totally buy this whole 'plan' thing." I think God is that bully that would give you a wedgie and then stuff you in a locker when you were a kid.
Speaking of predestination:
[AT&T commercial bit in the works]
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