Daily Joke 2 - Staying Healthy

Could transition from "Fat Kid" routine: 

Since I've grown up I get a lot of advice from people, but I'm so confused with all the advice I get as to what advice to take and what advice to ignore.  

Everyone has something to say about nutrition; "don't eat so many carbs," "don't eat so much fat."  Well what the hell do I eat, then?!  Everything, other than fuckin' air has either a carb or a fat in it,. 

There was a lady in my last work office that would always tell me that I need to drink less diet soda, because it puts weight on people.  This lady was probably 300 pounds.

Now don't get me wrong: I don't have anything against her because she's fat.  I'd be a real hypocrite if I did that, because I used to be a porky little shit when I was younger because of [Skittle Soup Bit].  

The thing I have a problem with is how cake-zilla figures she can give me dieting advice even though whenever she goes jogging she gets chased by bawdy Australians with dart guns?  Thankfully she jogs only when the planets align...oh God...2012...

People like that, who give advice even though they have absolutely no right or reason to, befuddle me to the ends of the earth.  This lady giving me unsolicited dieting advice is like a criminal who is wanted for murder telling a kid not to jay walk or he might get in trouble.