Monday, March 28, 2011

Daily Joke 1 - Back in the Day

Starting today I'm going to bang out at least one joke a day.  This may be a one-liner, or it may be a full bit.  Some days I may figure out a one-liner and then try to develop it, later, into a bit.  I know a guy who used to, in an effort to become a better photographer, take one "Photo of the Day" (PoTD).  He eventually found a stupid fiance and stopped trying to take decent photos.  He would still put up a PoTD, but it would usually be of whatever knife he bought, or a gun, or ammo.  It was lazy.

A lot of my daily jokes will be bad.  I'm not doing it to amass a repertoire of jokes I can throw around, but more so to try to actually figure out my writing style, refine it, and just generally always try to come up with something better.

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"Back in the Day":

On the tops of most people's "what I couldn't live without" lists, is probably the internet.  Google, wikipedia, facebook, twitter, to name a few, are things that have become as commonplace as cars.  The internet is something that kids will grow up having, something that companies and people use to make their lives infinitely more convenient, and something we are starting to take for granted.  The internet has revolutionized how we learn and share information.  It has opened doors for endless opportunities.  For example:

*building expectation*

Has anyone ever seen An Officer and a Gentleman?  Richard Gere is in it, and it is about Officer's Candidate School.  I LOVED that movie.  I got my hands on it when I was 10 years old.  It was one of those movies that I discovered before I could really understand it, but I thought it was amazing anyway.

*pause*

If I had had the internet when I was 10, I wouldn't have had to wear out the tape by rewinding that one awesome minute-long sex scene over and over and over again, and then explain to my parents, later, why it is the only part of the movie that no longer plays correctly.

If I had had google, I could have loaded up my computer after watching that scene over and over and over again, typed "inexplicably stiff penis" into the search bar, and known what the hell a "boner" was.

If I had had wikipedia, I could have learned about the multiple uses for a boner, so I'd of been able to figure out jacking off before I was 18.

If I had had facebook I could go friend the actress in that movie so I could stare intently at her pictures at 3am until the delirium and lack of sleep makes me think I can see her nipples.

And if I had twitter: I could take all my newfound knowledge and tweet about my boners, becoming one of the many people with things so urgent that they can't wait to be shared with the world.  My 10 year old tweets would be every bit as crucial as most of the tweets done TO THIS DAY.

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I might develop this joke in other ways in the future.  Like, rather than being that adult that says "back in my day kids had respect" I can say something like "back in my day kids had to deftly steal their dad's nude-y magazines when he wasn't home."

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